Day 52: the life lesson i never knew i kneaded
Even just a day or two ago, the thought of making my own bread held little appeal to me. Ignoring the ongoing relationship issues I have with my oven, for now, I just saw no point in it if truth be told. What I can get from the shops and bakery is of perfectly good quality and requires very little effort on my behalf. But therein lie the danger of ignorance: if we think like that then we will never try new things or learn new skills, and one of the core reasons for starting 365 Days of Nigella was to fix this rather narrow-minded approach to cooking, and indeed life.
In my defence, anxiety does play a role here, too. If a situation unsettles me and there is still the opportunity to escape, then I will probably do a one-eighty and flee in the other direction. When I find myself in new culinary scenarios, however, a recipe becomes my coping mechanism: educating me through a process that I have no familiarity with. And while there are no recipes for success in many of life’s scenarios, I can use these cookalong scenarios to train my brain to ask for help when I need it, which has always been something I have struggled with; as a result, missing out on many of life’s joys in fear of my own inability to cope with new and potentially stressful situations. This is not the best way to go through life and while I do feel I have an excuse - as would anyone with anxiety or paranoia - I don’t believe it to be a justification for not trying to help myself. And that is exactly what I am doing with this cookalong: training my brain to tackle situations within an environment I love and feel safe, before then taking them out for a test-drive (outside of the kitchen).
Nigella’s Old-fashioned Sandwich Loaf
So, armed with my spoilt milk (which I had been trying to turn for three days on the kitchen windowsill), I decided it was time to expand on culinary skillsets outside of my comfort zone and make Nigella’s Old-Fashioned Sandwich Loaf.
As with any bake involving my oven, there were some nerves, but in addition to the pre-bake nerves, I also had the what-if-I-don’t-knead-it-right-and-my-dough-doesn’t-rise nerves. My only previous attempt at bread-making was using one of those ready-blended mixes that you just ad a few wet ingredients to; I recall these turning out okay. On the Cook Eat Repeat TV Show, Nigella sold this loaf well and it did indeed look fairly straight forward, with minimum kneading required.
As always, my worries were for nothing. It was easy to make and quick to cook. The hardest part was waiting for it to cool, which I didn’t actually have to experience as I was overruled and the loaf was cut into while still butter-meltingly warm. I know this can affect how long the loaf stays fresh, but I had a feeling it would be eaten within 24hrs.
Flavour musings
When I took this gorgeous beauty from the oven happiness filled my soul, gladness filled my heart, and the grin on my face bared every tooth in pride. These outcomes should teach me to stop getting so worried about approaching new challenges and to start facing them head-on with the intent to enjoy them. Even if you don’t succeed, enjoy the process, learn from any mistakes and keep going until you get it right; we cannot improve or learn in the areas we may wish to without a little bit of failure here and there.
I certainly enjoyed numerous slices of this loaf toasted with oodles of butter and ginger jam and as a plain, old-school ham and mustard sandwich (with butter, too, obviously). This is also the perfect loaf for a sausage butty: soft, moist and bouncy. I enjoy my sausage sarnies with butter, brown sauce and - I am not sorry - mayonnaise; this is a Polish brand of jarred mayo, which is silky and creamy, not wobbly, gelatinous and bright white like some brands can be.
As I sit here writing, the dough for my next loaf is proofing. In fact, I can hear the timer going now, which means it’s time for its second ten-second knead. It really is “bafflingly easy” to make and surely is the life hack I didn’t know I kneaded; I wouldn’t say it was a shortcut to buying a ready-baked loaf but it’s certainly a rewarding skill to add to the culinary armory. And when it comes to this kind of soft, bouncy sandwich bread I am much happier knowing it is homemade and not pumped with preservatives and ingredients I cannot pronounce.
Over and out.
